Each year, I create a Christmas Card for Peggy and me to send out to family and friends, and, I might add, share with you on Wandering Through Time and Place. Admittedly, they are designed to be a bit strange, and hopefully elicit a chuckle. After all, Santa is ‘a jolly old elf.’ This year, he has a bit of a problem, however…

Okay, let’s think about this. Rudolf only has to work one day out of the year. What in the world does he have to complain about? Well… Here’s some information I included on the back of the card:

-To start with, Santa is really old. He takes his origins back to Saint Nicholas who was born around 270 AD. That makes his age around 1700 years! No wonder he hasn’t kept up with modern production and delivery services. If he contracted with Amazon Prime, he, his elves, and the reindeer could all sit around a bonfire drinking rum infused eggnog and celebrate a job well done on Christmas Eve. Instead…

-He and the reindeer have to visit some 300 million homes. And, they have to do it in 34 hours, given changing time zones. “So what are you whining about?” Santa likes to argue. “I got you ten extra hours.” But what does that really mean…

-He has to deliver gifts to 9,127,789 houses per hour, or 2,536 per second. And what applies to Santa, also applies to his reindeer. That’s one heck of a lot of landing on roofs, taking off— and flying. How far do the reindeer have to fly, you ask…

-It’s been clocked at over 100,000,000 million miles by according to Santa’s odometer (and confirmed by scientists who have ‘worked’ it out). That means the reindeer have to fly a staggering 2,823,529 mile per hour.

No wonder Rudolph is upset about his pay. But Santa has a solution that won’t cost him an extra penny. He has recruited Rudolph’s girlfriend who is willing to work for less to get into the business of guiding flying sleds on foggy nights. Rudolph is not happy…

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen are all for Santa’s decision. They think it will be a lot more fun to follow Rudette for 100 million miles than Rudolph. What a surprise? But wait, negotiations are under way, and…

There is good news from the North Pole! Santa and Rudolph have reached and agreement. 10 pounds of apples, 4 pounds of corn and 5 pounds of alfalfa will be added to Rudolph’s trough each day. Plus, he will have Rudette along as a partner on Christmas Eve to help light up the night and his life— at equal pay. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen will each get 9 pounds of apples, 3 pounds of corn, and 4 pounds of alfalfa, and, they still get to follow Rudette. Everyone is a winner!

Wishing each of you a great holiday season and a healthy and happy New Year. Thanks for coming along with us on our journeys this past year!

Curt and Peggy

*A final note, I know that Ut-Oh is usually spelled Uh-Oh but Ut-Oh is how I pronounced as a kid and continue to today.