I got the call from my brother Marshall in mid-March. He had house-sat for us while Peggy and I were off backpacking last summer. Then, as he has been doing for 17-years, he hit the road, heading for Arizona where he would winter. He’d come West the year before, ending his 15-years of migrating back and forth between North Carolina and Florida, as regularly as the birds. Oregon would be his new residence. Four years ago, he had fought tongue cancer in Florida, free-camping while he had extensive treatments. It was his way. I had flown in to spend some time with him. He had won that battle, a temporary reprieve that allowed him to continue to wander, which is what he loves to do.
The phone call was serious. His cancer was back. He wasn’t going to fight it. At 78, he was coming home to die. His wandering days were over. A couple of days ago I found him talking to his RV. “I know, big fellow, you want to be on the road as much as I do, but we can’t.”
For the past two months, Peggy and I have been caring for Marshall. He is living in our back yard in his RV. It’s where he wants to die. Marshall has hospice care now and the team is excellent, providing support for us as well as him. They are warm, caring people. None of this easy. It’s incredibly tough watching someone you care for waste away and die. It may be days, or weeks, but probably not months. Each morning when I go out to visit, I wonder.
I’ve decided to check out of my blog for now, for at least a couple of months. I need the time for Marsh, and Peggy, and me. I’ll be back. My blog and my blogging friends are part of my family. Until next time, take care my friends.
Curt
46 thoughts on “When Death Camps on Your Doorstep”
shoreacres
It’s a journey all of us will make. I’m glad Marsh has you and Peggy as traveling companions. I think your decision’s a wise one. I’ll keep you all of you in mind in the coming days, weeks, or months, and welcome you back whenever the time is right.
Curt Mekemson
Thanks Linda. It’s the continuation of a journey that Marshall and I have been on for over 70 years. And Peggy has been here for 30. We will finish it as gently as we can. –Curt
ralietravels
May the journey be as pleasant and smooth for all of you as is possible — we wish you all well.
Curt Mekemson
Thank you, Ray.
Rahjta
My Heart is with Marshall, You and Peggy – holding Soulful Love.
Curt Mekemson
Thank you, Rahjta. Appreciated. –Curt
Alison and Don
So sorry to hear this news Curt. May this transition be as easy as possible for all three of you.
Alison
Curt Mekemson
Thank you Alison. It is hard, but we have a wonderful support group. And Marsh is facing what he is going through with courage, and even, on occasion, a sense of humor.
Gunta
Wishing you and yours well through this trial… we’ll be here waiting for you when you return. The hospice folks I have encountered in the past have all been truly amazing folks… like none others!
Curt Mekemson
Thank you, Gunta. And you are absolutely right on the hospice folks. So much care. And experience. –Curt
susan@onesmallwalk
The gift you are giving your brother is a wonderful one. I wish all of you peace. Susan
Curt Mekemson
Thank you Susan. We appreciate your thoughts. –Curt
Anne Clare
I’m so sorry to hear that your family is on this difficult journey, though I’m glad that you are able to be together for it. I hope it’s alright that I keep all of you in prayer- Take care, Curt.
Curt Mekemson
Yes, it is alright, Anne. And thank you. –Curt
allentimphotos2
Curt thank you so much for looking after your brother Marshall. Your gift of being there for him may be difficult but the sharing will be significant. I’ve not visited the Reader in the last couple of weeks and I’m blessed to have decided to return to night and click your site even without a picture. I look forward to your return. Take and enjoy your time together. Tim
Curt Mekemson
Thank you so much, Tim. We are doing so with as much love, empathy, and even humor as possible. –Curt
Sue Slaght
Curt this is a true gift for your brother. Know that I will be thinking of all of you and sending positive energy for you and Peggy as you journey with your brother in his final chapter. May his time be peaceful and pain free. Keeping you all close in my heart.
Curt Mekemson
Thanks so much, Sue. It means a lot. –Curt
Sue Slaght
Most welcome Curt. I’m an old oncology nurse and although every journey is different I have seen the immense comfort caring family members can bring. Hugs to all of you.
Curt Mekemson
I didn’t know that, Sue. Thanks. –Curt
cindy knoke
You have no idea how much you, and now Marshall, are loved. Sending all that love to you both. This is the most powerful post you have ever done Curt.
Curt Mekemson
Thank’s Cindy. Much. I just read this to Marsh as a sample of the messages that are coming in from our friends in the blogging world. –Curt
Animalcouriers
Can’t like this post. Here’s to you making Marshall as comfortable as you can for the time he has left. He is lucky in that respect having you and Peggy.
Curt Mekemson
Thank you, AC. Much appreciated. –Curt
GP Cox
We will be here, Curt. I understand what you’re going through and my heart goes out to you! Take care of your priorities, my friend.
Curt Mekemson
Thanks, G. Your support means a lot to me. As always. –Curt
leggypeggy
Thinking of Marsh, Peggy and you. Sending huge hugs and the beating drums of Africa. See you when you feel okay to return.
Curt Mekemson
Thanks, Peggy. –Curt
avwalters
Take care. It is the hardest, and most rewarding thing we can do. Remember that care-givers need self-care. You are completely right to take a blogging hiatus–we’ll be here when you get back.
Curt Mekemson
Thank you, AV. And it is one of the hardest things I have done, but we are glad to be here with Marsh, and he is deeply appreciative. We are taking care of ourselves, and have a wonderful hospice team working with us. –Curt
Chips Off the Old Block
Your brother and you and Peggy are in my prayers.
Curt Mekemson
Thanks much. –Curt
M.B. Henry
My thoughts, prayers, and well wishes are with you all ❤
Curt Mekemson
Thank you MB. Appreciated. –Curt
Dave Ply
Times like these are tough. Bittersweet perhaps, both in the chance to remember the good old days in a loving environment, but the sadness of knowing it must end. However much time it takes, we’ll be here waiting when you come back, and thinking good thoughts toward your family.
Curt Mekemson
Thank you Dave. We’ve laughed a bit about the ‘good old days.’
Margy
What a gift to give and receive when you walk beside someone as they take the last steps on their life’s journey.
Curt Mekemson
Thank you, Margy. –Curt
Sue Robbins
I’m sorry to hear that Curt. I hope he isn’t in too much pain.
Hugs,
Sue
hilarycustancegreen
Wishing you and Peggy strength and your brother a peaceful, love-filled, pain-free letting go.
philosophermouseofthehedge
May peace and comfort wrap warmly around all of you.
This is difficult but to have those with you along the journey is a treasure above all.
Take care. All of you are/will be in so many others’ thoughts.
lexklein
Oh, Curt, I am so sorry for your sadness as you and Marshall and Peggy face this very difficult passage. I’ll keep you in my thoughts until we see you back here.
Kelly MacKay
Curt, I am so sorry to hear of Marshall’s cancer. Us wanderer’s all hope that when our days are numbered, we will know where home is and loved ones will be at our side. Hugs.
gerard oosterman
So sorry to hear about Marshall. I was wondering why I had not read anything, but when clicking on your blog I received this sad news.
spanishwoods
My thoughts are with you and Peggy and Marshall. Sending you thoughts of peace Curt.
Oh, the Places We See
My heart goes out to you as you deal with life’s cruelties. We, too, have been away from our blog for a long time — volunteer work, two part-time jobs, keeping the grandchild, etc. But I wouldn’t give any of it up. Perhaps we’ll get back to blogging — just returned from a week in South Dakota (loved it!!!) — so we have pictures to post and tales to tell.
Wishing you all the best as you help your brother and yourselves deal with life issues. My thoughts and prayers are with you.